Forced vacation
by moonbird
Summary: It is one of those days, Diego is tired and worn out after having to play his double role as Zorro and Don Diego De La Vega. All he wish for is a few days of peace of quiet. Then as the Alcade uncovers a few secrets does Diego get his wish, but not in the way he had hoped. Then again, perhaps this isn't so bad afterall.
1. Chapter 1

Diego groaned deeply as he ran his hand through his hair.

It was one of those days.. He had spend all night riding around outside first capturing bandits, and then having to ride in huge circles to loose the Alcalde and the lancers before he could finally return to the cave at the break of dawn. yet barely had he been allowed to lay down in bed before his father had bursted the door open, berated him for still being a sleep and reminding him he had promised to help lead the cattle to a different field today, which was hard physical labour where you rode around on a horse having to guide the huge flock of cattle from one area to another without loosing one.

Under normal circumstances Diego would have enjoyed such an activity but he was dead on his feet already and the task already wasn't that easy.

Now it was finally afternoon and Diego had been let back into the Hacienda but todays work wasn't over, there was paper work to be done regarding numbers of cattle, their worth, predicting expenses and earnings for the next few months to put up a budget. Ones again, normally not an acitivity Diego would have minded at all, but right now he was nearly seeing double due to sheer exhaustion.

His shoulders were arching, his head was throbbing, there were black spots in front of his eyes, his father was berating him for having messed up with the cattle and now was nearly messing up with the numbers again.

What Diego would't do for a vacation, just one day, with nothing to do, no one to berate him or send him on a mission. That would just be heaven right now.

Just as Diego had finished thinking that thought did it knock on the door and both Diego and Alejandro looked up as a well known voice sounded from the entrance.

"Is Diego De La Vega at home?"

Alejandro blinked. "That sounds like the Alcade." he observed then turned to Diego. "What does he want?"

"I got no idea." Diego admitted as finally the Alcade entered the study room but he wasn't alone, with him was Mendoza who looked rather uncomfortable and several lancers armed with swords and riffles.

Wide-eyed did both Diego and Alejandro stand up, suddenly Diego wasn't tired at all any longer. What-ever this was about there was no way it could be good! De-Soto looked way to pleased with himself and Mendoza way to nervous.

"What's this about?" Alejandro asked. "Alcade, why are you breaking into my home."

"I'm here to make an arrest." De-Soto stated and Diego swallowed as he took a step backwards trying to keep a levelled head and observe the situation.

"Arrest?" Alejandro asked. "Who? What for?" he asked.

And De-Soto smirked satiesfied. "I gather you heard of the bandits Zorro's latest exploits, capturing the bandito Franzis Elscoro." he stated.

"Yes, he was apprehended by Zorro a few days ago." Alejandro nodded.

"Indeed, how-ever something did not fit." De-Soto stated. "Zorro had information, information he couldn't possible have had. Only a selected few knew of the route that that carrier of gold was going to take, one of whom stands in this room. YOU! Diego De La Vega."

At that Diego eyes widened as a finger was pointed at him. "What are you saying?" he asked. "You do know how Zorro is, there is a ton of ways he could have gotten that information."

"Si that is true, which is why I went through some old records written down by my predecessor, and often I found curious coincidences, Zorro having so much information he logically shouldn't be able to have, unless." De-Soto smirked.

Diego froze from where he stood, he felt an icing go over his entire body, his heart sinking and the world going into a slow pace. Could it be? Had it all finally caught up with him? He glanced around trying to find exit points for an escape, there was a few windows… But then again, if De-Soto realised he had Zorro in the room, chances was that the Hacienda was surrounded already, it probably wouldn't be so easy.

Alejandro though huffed. "Spit it out man, what are you accusing us for?" he ased.

"Not you Don Alejandro, only Don Diego." De-Soto grinned and Diego swallowed. "Don Diego! I hereby arrest you for working with the bandit Zorro and exchanging information with him on a frequent basis!"

"Now Alcalde listen!" Diego blurted but then halted as he blinked. "I'm sorry what?" he asked.

"You heard me." De-Soto grinned. "You've exchanged information with Zorro, on several occasions even!"

At that Diego blinked as he looked at De-Soto in stunned silence. "Oh." he said.

"Oh?" De-Soto asked now slightly annoyed. "Is that all you have to say?"

Alejandro frowned now annoyed. "Alcade, what is your proof of any of this?" he asked.

And De-soto bit together. "To do what Zorro does requires fonds, influence! And Diego has been his provider." He proclaimed then turned to Diego with angry eyes. "Not only have exchanged information. You gave Zorro the information he needed to interfere with the Pueblo and he gave you the information you needed to fil correct law suits. Like with the Thackery incident!" he stated throwing a piece of paper on the table. "How would you have known that, if Zorro had not given you the information."

Diego blinked at the paper containing description of the damming evidence in the thackery case which true enough, had been provided by Zorro and used by Diego to get Thackery down, now laying there on the table. Then Diego looked up at De-Soto, smiling embarrassed almost innocently.

Alejandro as well was gaping then he halted and he looked out in the air. "Wait just a." he halted. "That actually make sense, Diego you." he turned to Diego. "Is it true? Have you been helping him?"

"Well erhm…" Diego hesitated. "Well, I might have gotten a bit of information from him here and there." he commented. "And maybe he asked for a few remedies in return."

"So you have talked to him, and you didn't hold him down?" De-Soto asked.

"Me against Zorro?" Diego asked. "Alcade are you hearing yourself? He would wipe the floor with me in a second."

"So you're claiming you were under distress?" De-Soto asked with a lifted eyebrow.

"No, I haven't claimed anything. I only say I might have, didn't say I did it." Diego commented. "You got any proof Alcade?"

"I just showed you the proof!" De-Soto hissed pointing at the papers and Diego raised an eyebrow.

"So what you're saying is that you wanted me to… not present the evidence against Thackery and let a criminal go free?" Diego asked. "I mean yes, the evidence came to me by unknown sources but… Evidence is still evidence right?" he asked.

"You're missing the point!" De-Soto shouted now annoyed. "You worked with Zorro, just admit it! I got more than just one case to proof my point!"

"It's not really proof is it, just some allegations. If you don't have substantial proof there is no grounds for arrest." Diego commented. "And what if I were under distress? What if Zorro did put a blade to my throat or threatened my family if I didn't corporate then what?" he asked innocently.

And De-Soto bit together. "Just come to the garrisons, there's a cell waiting for you!" he demanded.

"Well al right, fine." Diego shrugged walking a few steps forward.

"Now hold on!" Alejandro exclaimed stepping forward. "You can't just…"

"Father, it's okay." Diego then cut in. "This is all just a desperate attempt on the Alcades part, he has nothing. A night in a cell wont hurt me at all, it's only the Alcade whom will look like a fool by morning." he commented in a slight shrug.

Alejandro halted, then he bit together. "Well, if you say so Diego." he commented reluctantly. "Are you sure though? Spending a night in a jail cell? I mean."

Then Diego offered Alejandro a slight smirk. "Trust me father, it'll be just fine." he then stated and Alejandro blinked taken a bit aback by Diegos ease ofthe situation.

* * *

And as it were, Diego willing got up on a horse and followed the lancers all the way back to the pueblo and didn't complain at all as he was lead to a jail cell where he laid down on the brinks stretching out his arms and yawned deeply.

"Don Diego I.. I'm so sorry." Mendoza fibbed as he stood by the door on the other side of the bars.

"Don't think about it, it's fine." Diego yawned deeply. "What nice weather this night, it's actually quite comfortable."

"Erh… si. It is a nice weather tonight." Mendoza blinked confused. "Don Diego it'll be al right, the Alcade can't keep you here and if.. If he tries. Zorro will safe you! He always safe people whom are innocent!"

At that Diego laughed out loud. "Relax Sergeant, i'm quite confident we wont even need Zorro." he smirked. "And as for getting out of here, no need to hurry." he smiled amused turning his head to catch Mendozas eyes with his own glistening one. "I was just thinking I needed a vacation, I actually get to sleep in tomorrow and father wont be yelling at me, that's nice." he smiled. "Then again, the Alcade probably will be the one doing all the yelling, that's going to be a head ache." he exhaled deeply, but then smiled again. "Ah, let the Alcade think what he will, it doesn't really matter I suppose." he yawned deeply.

Mendoza glanced at him then bit his lip. "Don Diego, have you really been helping Zorro?" he finally asked.

"I might have." Diego smirked. "You could say, I owe him. he did safe my fathers life after-all, a couple of times even." he exhaled. "And he saved your life, and you're my friend sergeant so." he smiled sheepishly and Mendoza brightened up.

"I see!" Mendoza beamed. "Don't worry Don Diego I wont say a word, my lips are sealed!" he swore.

"I trust you sergeat." Diego blinked and gave him a slight salute from where he was laying. "Well, please excuse me. I had a very long day and i'm very tired, I'm going to sleep now." he yawned deeply turning to his side.

"Ah yes, of course!" Mendoza nodded. "I'll… I'll see you tomorrow then." he said in a whisper and then actually tiptoed outside trying to be as quiet as possible, not that he needed to do that, Diego had already entered an amused and peaceful state of sleep as Mendoza closed and locked the door.

* * *

 _AN; Yep, ones again i'm going for a more humourus way into it. Did I surprise some of you? I do like to play around with exspectations XD  
So yeah, this is ones again just a pretty silly mean to be humourus Zorro story, I hope at least some will find it slightly amusing. _


	2. Chapter 2

"Do you have any fives?"

"No Don Diego. Do you have any queens."

"Got me again Sergeant! You're sure you aren't cheating?" Diego asked in a slight grin as he sat there on the floor behind bars, and on the opposite side of the bars was sitting a certain sergeant with crossed legs as they were exchanging playing cards through the bars.

"Don Diego! I would never do that!" Mendoza gaped and Diego chuckled.

"I'm only teasing sergeant." he assured in a blink handing Mendoza the promised cards and pulled a new one.

"Please don't tease like that, i'm already nervous enough as it is." Mendoza exhaled deeply.

"You need to learn how to relax sergeant." Diego smirked amused. "Nothing will come out of worrying."

"That's easy for you to say." Mendoza murmured just as a huge shout sounded.

"MENDOZA!" And Mendoza jumped up dropping all the cards as he stood straight and saluted at the door.

"Al-Alcade!" Mendoza saluted.

"What are you doing?" De-Soto asked with narrowed eyes.

"Keeping an eye on the prisoner, like you asked me to." Mendoza pointed out.

"You call this keeping an eye on the prisoner?!" De-Soto asked as he looked at the cards on the floor.

"Well… Don Diego was constantly in my eye sight so…. Yes?" Mendoza asked.

And De-Soto sneered. "GET OUT OF HERE!" he then shouted as Mendoza hurried outside fast as a speeding bullet, so quick he almost knocked De-Soto down in his haste to get out of the door, De-Soto hissed annoyed as he turned to Diego red in his head. "And you." he started.

"Ah Ignacio! Just the man I was looking for." Diego smirked. "I don't mean to complain, but the coffee you served me this morning was cold. Could you please at least try to serve me some decent coffee?" he asked.

"COFFEE?!" De-Soto shouted then hissed. "I'll make sure you'll get no coffee from here from here on of. how about that?" he asked.

"You know that's probably better for me anyway." Diego chuckled. "The coffee here is abysmal, I don't think it's good for my stomach."

At that De-Soto bit together and took a deep inhale before he exhaled. "Don Diego let me make this simple, all you have to do is to confess and I will let you go." he assured.

"Really?" Diego asked.

"Yes." De-Soto nodded.

"You swear?" Diego asked.

"I swear, on my honor." De-Soto assured.

"Well I suppose I better confess then, the rest of the breakfast was abysmal to. Are you saying I need to loose weight? I find that kind of insulting." Diego stated and De-Soto turned red as he threw his arms up in the air and let out a shout of frustration.

Diego how-ever just grinned as he leaned back resting his head on his arms.

"I'll find something." De-Soto stated. "And you will pay."

"Okay." Diego simply replied and De-Soto fumed as he walked out, his head as red as a strawberry in summer.

* * *

The Pueblo of Los Angeles was not very big, so news travelled fast and people were always eager to hear gossip, so words of Diegos arrest did not take long to reach the ears of a tavern owner whom ran to the garrison to see how her friend was holding up.  
Victoria though had to stop rather stunned as Diego seemed to be hanging out rather casually, leaning up against the window that lead to the backside of the garrison peering out as he looked at the sky then his eyes lowered and he caught sight of Victoria which made him brighten up. "Victoria!" he beamed. "How nice to see you!"

Victoria blinked then stepped forward. "So he finally got around to arrest you to huh?" she asked.

"Yeah, I was worried for a bit there. I felt left out." Diego chuckled and Victoria shook her head, then she glanced up with a more worried face expression.

"How are you holding up Diego?" Victoria asked in a more serious tone.

"Oh i'm doing just fine here at hotel garrison." Diego commented. "Sure, the bed is just a plank of wood and the food is nothing to write home about. but on the plus side it's close to city centrum." he stated.

Victoria couldn't help it, she had to bow her head to hide her giggles, but still had to laugh slightly then she looked up. "Madre Dios Diego, how can you be so casual. If I didn't know better I would think you didn't even know you're in jail."

"Are you saying this isn't a hotel room?" Diego asked looking at her innocently and Victoria burst out laughing. Amused Diego shook his head. "I'm fine Victoria, the Alcade genuinely can't hold me here for more than a few hours more. At most this has just been a pretty boring endeavor, but now that you're here. That's making up for that." he flashed a grin at her.

"Diego you surprise me." Victoria smirked.

"I do?" Diego asked.

"You being so casual about this." Victoria admitted. "I thought you would be complaining a lot more. You usually favor your soft bed."

Diego shrugged. "Well, perhaps a night in a jail cell is a good character building excersise." he then commented. "My own bed would be to be preferred by far, but this wont kill me." he smiled amused.

"I can see that." Victoria smirked amused. "Is there something I can do for you Diego?" she asked.

"Well, if I could ask for a glass of lemonade and one of your delicious tamales. Let me tell you I don't envy the poor lancers. The food here is abysmal." Diego commented.

Victoria chuckled. "I think I can handle that."

"Gracias, i'll pay you when the Alcade lets me out of here. I promise." Diego assured.

"That's okay, it's on the house." Victoria blinked.

"You're to good to me Victoria." Diego smiled amused.

"Well, from what I heard you helped a certain masked vigilante out of pitch or two, so maybe I owe you more than I realized." Victoria blinked at him before she dashed off.

And Diego exhaled deeply, he was pretty confliced at that moment. On one hand, it was nice getting into Victorias favor. On the other hand, she hadn't connected the dots either. Which should be a good thing but felt rather disappointing.

Was there such a thing as a disguise that was too good? Seemed like it.

Victoria was not the only one on a visit though, Alejandro came as well, he to at first looked worried but after a while even he couldn't help but laugh.

"Diego, you need to be more careful." Alejandro said as he tried to sounding lecturing, but he was far to amused.

"what do you mean father?" Diego asked innocently. "I am following all procedures, I am being a perfectly corporative prisoner." he stated. "Why I should be let out on good behavior alone."

"The Alcade is not very happy." Alejandro pointed.

"Of course he's not, he was probably hoping I would do something stupid so he could pin it on me." Diego rolled his eyes. "But you know me, I abhor confrontations."

"Oh really?" Alejandro asked. "Son, you're starting to convince me of the opposite." he admitted.

"I have no idea what you mean father." Diego replied in a amused smile and Alejandro exhaled deeply.

"How long can he keep you in here?" Alejandro asked.

"Twenty four hours, so no. You can't rent out my room tonight." Diego smirked and Alejandro amused shook his head.

"What if he keeps you here for longer though?" Alejandro asked.

"That would be amazing!" Diego exclaimed. "Then he broke the law and I can file an official report to the governor!" he stated. "It might not get him fired, but it'll look bad on him either way. I would call that a win regardless."

Astounded Alejandro looked at Diego then he softened up in a smile. "Well son, you might not fight like most people. But when you get results." he shook his head. "Just be careful, I can see you know what you're doing. But…"

"I know father." Diego assured. "I might not know how to handle a sword, but I can work the system."

"I see." Alejandro nodded. "That's a relief." he admitted. "Well, i'm sorry son. But there are a few things I need to check on."

"Don't worry, i'll see you in the evening." Diego promised and Alejandro finally left allowing Felipe to step forward and look at Diego with an incredible defeated look.

"What?" Diego asked and Filipe lifted an eyebrow. "I'm being a good prisoner honest." he swore. "And well, it might be kind of fun to make a fool out of the Alcade. It has been a good day." he then admitted and Fellipe shook his head. "Thank you for keeping an eye on my father." he then said in a smile. "it really wouldn't do anyone any favors if he had made a scene."

And Felipe shook his head then send Diego an assuring smile before he finally also turned around and had to take a few running steps to catch up to Alejandro.

* * *

As the sun was starting to set was Diego sitting in the corner of his little cell, a piece of paper in front of him which he scribbled on, he didn't even look up as a man stepped inside, he didn't even move as this man opened the jail door and stepped in.

For a moment the man in blue uniform stood there, then at last he cleared his throat. "Ahem."

"Ah, Alcade." Diego greeted the man without even looking up. "Do you know what rimes with excruciating?" he asked.

"What on earth are you talking about?" Alcade asked.

"My latest master piece!" Diego beamed as he stood up. "Listen! Oh the woman which is this land. Cruel and harsh, breaking the hearts of man. Yet this wilderness is beauty, and your protection is my duty! Why must loving you be so excruciating." then he looked up. "That's how far i got." he then admitted.

And De-Soto fumed as he grabbed the piece of paper of and ripped it out of Diegos hands.

"Hey!" Diego exclaimed as De-Soto started to tear it apart and rip it into tiny pieces.

"Of all the people." De-Soto seethed. "You are without a doubt the greatest FOB I ever had the displeasure to meet!" he stated. "YOU IDIOT!"

"That's harsh." Diego blinked.

"You brain dead, lazy, cotton brained fob!" De-Soto fumed as he was finally done tearing the poem to pieces and threw it on the floor. "How I ever thought you could work with Zorro is beyond me! If anything he must be using you. You're as stupid as a box of rocks!"

"Auch." Diego blinked. "So can I go now?"

"ARGH!" De-Soto shouted. Then finally stepped away. "Just go." he muttered.

"Why thank you, and must I say this has been a most pleasant stay. We should do this again sometime." Diego nodded walking towards the door.

"GET OUT OF HERE AND PRAY I WONT SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER WEEK!" De-Soto shouted and Diego grinned as he dashed outside.

* * *

It was still with a grin on his face that Diego entered the Hacienda and called out. "Father! I'm back, just as I said!"

Immediately came running steps, but not just one, in fact the first one to appear was Victoria whom beamed and ran to embrace Diego's neck. "Oh thank god!" she beamed.

"Victoria?" Diego asked then smiled as she let go. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you what else? Alejandro said you said you would come here." Victoria smiled just as Alejandro came with Felipe.

"Surprise son." Alejandro smiled. "I hope you're hungry Maria prepaired her famouse con carne."

"Really? I love her con carne." Diego beamed.

"I believe that was the point. Welcome back son." Alejandro smiled and Diego smiled.

This warm welcome after just one single day in prison, a day that had been entirely relaxing with no pressure and no demands, it really wouldn't be to bad to go to prison a bit more often Diego reflected as he happily followed Victoria, Felipe and Alejandro towards the dining room. _  
_


End file.
